JOURNAL

Island of desperation

hurricane mariaMy spirits are broken by the reality of devastation.My mouth is speechless by the constant state of shock. My heart fills with a burning sense of loss. My homeland as I knew it, no longer is.

My heart breaks at the loss of your rainforest. My sight hurts from the burning of your landscape. My smell inhales your tainted waters. My spirit yearns for your once inherent natural beauty.

My everyday life regressed three generations. My house is a refuge in the darkness. My life is at a standstill. My homeland as I lived it, no longer is.

My thoughts are consumed by a media frenzy. My words are frustrated with the inefficient power. My people are being forgotten. My spirit despairs for your already obscure future.

My island of desperation. My island as I knew it, when will you be. My spirits yearn for your once natural beauty.

Dear Lucky

October 17, 2015

Dear Lucky,

Our paths crossed extraordinarily. We intertwined deeply. We embraced each other quickly. Then parted ways. What was your purpose?

Forever, I secretly wanted. To know you forever. Be mine forever. Love you forever. Love me forever. Soulmates forever. Were you my soulmate?

My soulmate. You’re a soulmate of many. A soulmate that unbeknownst tore my walls down and revealed a new layer about myself. You smacked me awake. You made me live. You made me love. Then you left. What was the purpose?

You made me a woman. The other woman. An empowered woman. Ecstatically fulfilled woman. A super woman. Was that your purpose?

I miss you. I can't believe it's been three years. You still linger in my mind. Illusions get the best of me. I smile. Then I remember I don’t know you. Who are you these days?

We happened perfectly, divinely. Our romance could have been for the books. Now, Us lives in my perfectly suspended memory. But I can’t seem to let you go. For you to be you and for me to be me. Separate lives. Continents apart. Why can’t I Let It Go?

I was strong enough to let you in then I’m strong enough to let you go. Even if I don't know your purpose. To fit your puzzle piece into my story. I need to move on with my story. When will I know your purpose?

‘See you soon’ - we said. (You would never be mine again.) ‘Hope you stay beautiful. Hope you stay willing’ - he said. Hope… Stay… Always… Never came. That was your purpose.

Always I remember you.

Siempre xx Sandy